


hajime shino goes apeshit (ft. arashi narukami and itaru chigasaki)

by sufferin_g



Category: A3! (Video Game), Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, No Beta We Die Like August, hajime goes apeshit!!, what is itaru doing here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24419857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sufferin_g/pseuds/sufferin_g
Summary: arashi helps hajime break out of jailthat’s it that’s literally the fic
Relationships: Shino Hajime & Narukami Arashi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31





	hajime shino goes apeshit (ft. arashi narukami and itaru chigasaki)

hajime sat in his jail cell, hugging all the kind gifts from his fans, surrounding himself in the warmth. How long had he been here? How many days, how many years had he waited and waited for the stupid company than controlled him to decide to give him rights

That’s right, he was in the place no person ever wanted to be in, where people like him went when they were not forgotten, just neglected for a very long time

That’s right. Hajime Shino was in Gacha Jail™ 

He had seen people come and go, desperately wanting someone to take his place, but he felt horrible wishing that upon someone, to go through the same thing he did

He saw his fans’ pleads, their wishes, and every day he wishes he could grant them, but these stupid bars won’t break for some reason. He wanted to go apeshit so badly, to just walk into the office of happy elements guns blazing and demand a gacha five star  
He buried himself further in the plushies, the soft pillows and blankets that felt like clouds, I mean like I guess they didn’t torture him lmao

But it was still not ideal, the food they fed him was nowhere near the satisfaction of getting a new five star, the things they gave him to drink were nowhere near the satisfaction of getting a new five star, if you couldn’t tell he really wanted to get a new five star. To feel that rush of excitement when they put you in outfits that fit you perfectly, when they take pictures of you that make the hearts of your producers melt.

He felt himself about to doze off when he heard a psssssstt

He looked over to the direction of the noise to find none other than-

“narukami-senpai?!?!?! :0!!!!!!”

She smiled sweetly and pressed a finger to her lips, suggesting they should be quiet, hajime got out of his coffin of softness and staggered over to her, gripping the bars of his cell tightly as tears welled up in his eyes

“dw hajime-chan~! your onee-san is here to break you out of jail :D!!”

arashi said, trying to comfort the sad babey, she unlocked the door to his cell through the power of being a fucking icon and handed him a machine gun, which she also obtained via the power of being a fucking icon

Hajime was finally about to achieve the thing he had been dreaming of, he was going to stand up for himself by going absolutely apeshit, he was going to say fuck!!!!! he had narukami-senpai to thank, for not only helping him break out of jail, but also for being a fucking icon, they made their way to the happy elements main office room thingy, talking while doing so

“( ・∇・)!!!! how did you manage to find me????” hajime asked, being the babey he is

arashi giggled, “i have a scheduled four star for the next gacha, and when checking who was going to be the five star,, i saw you haven’t had one in the past 1214 days!! so i thought, hMm, oh no!! he must be in gacha jail!! so i searched for the legendary gacha jail and used my powers of being an icon to help break you out!! ☆彡”

“ohokieokie!! thank you so much narukami-senpai!! quick question tho,, do i have permission to swear,,”

“of course darling” arashi gave him headpats cause he deserves it

they finally reached the door to the main office of happy elements, the company that had stolen so many people’s money for absolutely no reason, like what the fuck, you make a new game then not only make gems harder to get, but then raise the gacha price and lower the rates????? not very nice >:(((((

hajime took a deep breath, holding his machine gun tightly to his chest while remembering all the times he spent in that small jail cell, being patient but never getting what he had wanted for so long. feeling pure fury build up in him, he gave narukami-senpai a quick nod before kicking down the door.

“WHAT UP SLUTS- GUESS WHO JUST GOT OUT OF PRI-“ he stopped, shocked to see who sat at the far end of the table 

“Itaru Chigasaki????!!!!!!! What are you doing here?!?!?!?!?”

the whore known as itaru chigasaki almost fell out of his chair from shock from the sight of one of the most innocent characters in enstars kick down the door and appear with a machine gun, about to shoot him, probably, who knows, gotta pray that this doesn’t affect his rank lolol

“well well well, perry the platap- i mean hajime shino! what a surprise to see you here” itaru exclaimed, spinning around in his spinny chair like the inner child he was, hajime recomposed himself, looking back at narukami-senpai, who was currently strangling someone and yelling at them for “not giving the babey rights”

“I DEMAND A NEW GACHA FIVE STAR OR I WILL SHOOT YOU ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ I HAVE DECIDED I AM NO LONGER BABEY- I WANT POWER”

itaru knew he had fucked up, he should NOT have taken this stupid job position, he didn’t even know he had signed up for it!! all he had done was click on some stupid ad that gave him more gems for his game, but who could blame him when there’s a special revival even going on and theres the creeping possibility of a soon summer event????

he had just been repeating the words holy fuck over and over in his mind ever since he walked into that office and sat down, having to keep his voice higher than normal, which is pretty difficult to do for long periods of time by the way, WHILE SMILING AND ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON FOR THE RECORD

itaru raises his hands defensively, “listen! i had no idea this was happening!! i just became the new CEO a few hours ago so like,, I can file a request or some shit and get you a new gacha in maybe a week or two-“ hajime quickly cut him off, pressing his machine gun to itaru’s head, how he got that close that quickly? who knows, he shouted

“I WANT A NEW FIVE STAR N O W”

“OK!! OK!! FUCK!!” Itaru scrambled around for a pen and paper and wrote some gibberish down before rolling it into a little scroll thing and dropping it down a pastel multi-colored tube “ok your new five star should be in soon dONT SHOOT ME I SWEAR TO GOD-“

In the end, Hajime got his five star, Itaru quit his job as the CEO five minutes after the incident, the fans are happy and Arashi Narukami is still a fucking icon  
The End ☆彡

**Author's Note:**

> im writing this at 3 am can you tell when my braincells officially decided to self destruct


End file.
